My Son Is Gay

My Son Is Gay

Now, how do I protect him/her against homophobia?1 How do I help him/her confront society?, Where will he/she gather strength from to face rejection? How can I help my family adapt to keep our connivance and unity as it always has been? I am a mother, and like many of you, I’m a housewife; my oldest child has a “different” sexual orientation -as many would say-, he’s gay, but he doesn’t have the confidence to tell us, his parents, yet. “The only thing I know is I have a diverse kid, who has the same rights as the rest of the citizens, including a worthy lifestyle.” 2

Homosexuality is not disease. The term was removed in the 70’s from the psychiatric manual as a mental illness, and parents should be supportive towards their children. However, it is not that easy to accept your own kid’s homosexuality and control the fear of what society can do due to religious beliefs or homophobia, or the chance of getting physically and emotionally hurt, and even the fear of losing family ties. We’re adults, parents, mothers, uncles and so, who determine certain paradigms of how our society evolves.

Your child can feel confused inside and not prepared to talk to family members, even if he or she wants to do it. The fear of disappointing their parents, “hurting” them, not feeling accepted, and that represents somehow a reversion of the love that’s present most of the times. In any case, it’s better if we’re careful by not invading their privacy. Don’t blame yourself, just own the responsibility by doing the right thing. First, accept and love your child, but at the same time be a guide through his/her maturity path. Talk to a professional, your kid, and also his/her siblings so they feel safe within themselves and with the family connivance so it remains as healthy and optimal for everybody.

1 Homphobia is the term that is destined to describe rejection, fear, repudiation, prejudice or discrimination towards women or men who recognize themselves as homosexuals.
2 Martha Lucía Cuellar, psychologist and activist.

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